I was gone for a while. Some three weeks (give or take a few days), right about how old Zrin is. I started writing this post with an apology for being inactive, and the promise of how I’ll put in more effort and write more often. I caught myself thinking how ridiculous it is to be apologizing for something that’s completely logical and normal. I gave birth, I have the cutest baby ever, a baby that needs love and attention. I’m trying to get used to this new role as a mother, trying to incorporate that new aspect of my life with the person I was before, I’m letting my body recover from pregnancy and birth…
It’s interesting how no one has held it against me that I took a step back from my blog, that I forget to answer messages or that I don’t pick up every time someone calls, but I still have the need to apologize, and I’ve noticed I’m not the only one.
We’ve gotten so used to the fact that everyone is just a text away, you type in a quick message, hit the send button, and puf … you get a response right away. When someone texts us and we don’t answer straight away we often have the need to write something along the lines of “hey sorry, I didn’t hear my phone … I was running errands”, as if we need to justify not being available at any given time. When I think about that a little I realize how unhealthy it is to expect anyone to be present 24/7 as well as thinking we need to be available on the spot for every message, call, etc.
We apologize for things like that all the time. We apologize for having to cancel plans cause something serious and important came up, we apologize for not cleaning our apartment when we’re having friends over, we apologize for being tired even though we’ve worked long hours all week. We keep apologizing for being normal people living their normal lives.
We’ve created this idea in our minds that we have to be on-call all the time, that it’s not OK to have bad days, or to take time for ourselves … suddenly all of this is perceived as selfish. I don’t like that one bit and it just doesn’t seem like a sustainable way of living so I’m going to, at least in this case, try and put a stop to this cycle of pointless apologizing.
There we go, I don’t want to apologize. I want to thank all of you. Thank you for the wonderful wishes and congratulations for the birth of our son Zrin. Thank you for the support you’ve shown me ever since I’ve started this blog, and thank you for being such a positive force in my life.
I have a couple of posts prepared and a couple in the making. When will I put them up? I’m not sure. Will I have some kind of posting schedule? In the future yes, but for now everything is gonna be a little hectic and all over the place because that is my new norm. The norm where I enjoy time with my family, trying to soak in every moment, knowing they will pass by so quickly.
So take time for yourselves, and do what you love. Turn of your phones from time to time if you just don’t feel like answering texts, take a couple of days off from everything, cancel that coffee date if you don’t feel like it and don’t apologize for it. Apologize to yourselves if you’ve (just as I have), let these (unrealistic and unnecessary) expectations that we create for ourselves make you feel uncomfortable or guilty.
Hope you will continue reading what I have to write, even if it’s not too organized at the moment … since one of the magical aspects of motherhood is that I’m more likely to get a real live unicorn than I am to create a productive routine, and you know what? That’s perfectly fine.